Lakeshore Love: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Book 3) Page 5

  “Let’s just say that I wasn’t as drunk as you were.”

  “I was naked.” He watched her face as she relived the morning after, going through the motions that had brought her to her conclusion, as she gazed into the darkened distance.

  “I remember.” Oh, Lord did he ever. No matter what he did, he couldn't forget her naked body. Cold showers had been a multiple daily occurrence for weeks after that night.

  She narrowed another look at him. “Don't say it like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “All husky while staring down at me like you're envisioning it.”

  He shrugged. “I am.”

  She gasped loudly, but a smile curved her lips. “Jake.” She hit the side of his arm, but he barely felt it.

  “I’m just trying to explain what happened.”

  “Don't relive it so vividly.”

  There was no way he could ever not relive it so vividly, but he could quit grinning at her and enjoying the squirming he was causing.

  “You wanted to...” He paused and she flushed. “Exactly, but I'm not the guy who makes love to a woman who doesn't remember anything in the morning.” Even if her hands tore off all her clothes revealing an amazingly curvy, smooth body that every part of him wanted to touch. Then her quick, persistent hands went after his clothes while her kisses touched every inch of his skin she could reach.

  If...when...I make love to Sydney McAdams you’re going to damn well remember it in the morning.

  “What did I say?”

  Jake, I want you. I have wanted you forever. I love you. Kiss me and never let me go again. He was planning on doing just that tonight. There had been so many wonderful sentences from her that he'd had to battle the urge to not take this woman to bed, but now realized she didn’t remember any of them.

  “No details to remember.”

  She groaned, closing her eyes and rubbing her hands across her face. “That bad?” she asked between her hands.

  Jake let her groan a bit more before taking her hand and continuing their walk down the beach. “You said sweet things.”

  “I doubt it.”

  They sure made his insides feel sweet with desire for her.

  “Unless of course you did mean it when you requested I tie you to the bed and go look in my tickle trunk for props?”

  Sydney looked absolutely horrified and she ripped her hand away from his to cover her mouth again, stopping dead in her tracks. “I did not. Did I? Your closet? Did it have something to do with your closet?”

  He took her hand back. “No, you didn't.”

  Relief overcame her squished face and she relaxed her features. “Thank goodness.”

  They continued walking.

  “Tickle trunk?” she asked and he was glad to hear the humor in her voice.

  He grinned at her. “I told you that you'd be surprised what I have in my closet.”

  She laughed then with no detachment and he felt better.

  “So what happened after I was...um...throwing my...” She paused and he caught her steal a glance at him. “...Naked self at you and you didn't even want me?”

  Now she was putting words in his mouth, words that were so untrue to his very core. He'd been drunk too and it would have been so much easier to succumb to her touch and pleading, but he didn't. But not because he didn't want her. Damn, he wanted her. But because he respected her too much, any woman for that matter, to take advantage of her when she was drunk.

  “I didn't say I didn't want you.” He stopped this time, grasping both her hands and stepping toward her. They weren't the only couple on the beach but when their eyes locked it felt like they were miles away from the outside world, lost in each other.

  As the wind increased, it blew her hair behind her with lose strands finding their way across her face.

  “Sydney?” His hand moved up her bare arms, across her lace-covered shoulder, savoring every stroke, then stopped on her bare throat, his fingers touching her jaw line. Her skin was soft like a rose petal and his thumb moved across her moist lips as he watched her swallow hard. He would have never braved a moment like this if she hadn't bared the truth in her drunkenness.

  “I want you. I want you sober and I want you to remember.” He was ready to spend his life with her. “Should we try this sober?” he asked, bending down inches from her parted lips and hoping she said yes.

  Chapter Six

  SYDNEY’S SWIRLING INSIDES at Jake’s presence were now doubled with a hungry desire for him to press his lips against hers.

  Should we try this sober? Should they? Should they!

  How was she ever going to make a rational decision when her raw, hot desire for this man was overriding every part of her body? They hadn’t slept together, why did that disappoint her?

  Suddenly all she could think of was sleeping with Jake.

  Kiss me Jake. Are you sure? I don't know!

  Why was this happening now? After all these years? She couldn't ignore the connection between them over ten years ago and somehow they’d managed to ignore it to continue a strong friendship. But why were these feelings coming up now and what were they supposed to do?

  There were still things they should talk about. There was a past of secrets withheld from each other that needed to be discussed. Things that Jake never wanted to discuss before. But it was the past. But it made their future.

  Damn, it was all too confusing to contemplate when his lips were practically touching hers.

  “What are we doing?” she whispered searching for an answer she didn’t have.

  “Standing here...mulling over whether we are going to kiss or not.”

  A giggle pushed past her lips at his obvious statement.

  “You’re Haylee’s uncle. You’re Kyle’s stepbrother.”

  There was so much between them. Where would they even begin? They needed the truth and a fresh slate to move forward. Did he even want to move forward?

  “I was your friend first.” His lips moved to her ear. “I was your lover first.” The seductive way he said it sent heat to every part of her body and her stomach jumped at the memory. It was such a long time ago and yet she remembered every moment of that evening like it was yesterday.

  “It's complicated,” she said.

  He kissed her neck then right under her ear and she struggled for breath.

  “It's a kiss,” he murmured against her skin.

  It was far from just a kiss! But she savored the five...yes she counted every single time his sizzling lips touched her skin...kisses he pressed gently against her jaw line before stopping at her lips.

  She grinned at him. “That was five.”

  “Let's make it six.”

  His taunting abducted her internal debate and her lips no longer listened to reasoning, pressing themselves against his. The thunder rolled in around them as their bodies crashed together. The light mist began to fall against his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him and her hands gripping the front of his shirt as she tiptoed to match his height.

  His touch was everything she remembered: his taste was even more delicious. But, every cold water droplet landing on her skin brought her more and more back to who was curling her toes into the sand.

  What would they do after this kiss? Did he really think it was just a kiss? What did he want? A kiss...more...a relationship...sex? What did she want?

  She wanted what she'd wanted all these years− him−but fear of reliving the hardest time of her life tightened her chest.

  Jake wasn’t shy and there was nothing holding him back as he dipped into her mouth, tasting her tongue and making her legs almost buckle.

  Sydney wanted to treasure every stroke like pirate’s gold, but her mind wouldn’t let her. Jake had opened up about that February night, which had stunned her and even more that he’d initiated the conversation. For a man who avoided confrontation, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was ready to open up now...about everything.

  His lips travell
ed down her throat again, harder, wetter and she arched her head back, giving him further access even when she knew she needed to know what happened when he left Willow Valley.

  His hand moved from her waist, travelling up to her stomach and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck while his hand roamed over her breasts.

  Just a kiss!

  She moaned and he captured it with his lips.

  Sydney needed to tell him what happened in her life during the year he’d walked away from her. He hadn't been willing to talk about any of it, but there were things she needed to say and things she needed to hear before this could go any further.

  Not wanting to leave the warmth of his mouth, but wanting...having...to know if there was more to this kiss than a kiss, Sydney reluctantly pulled away.

  “Jake?”

  The rain was starting to plunge larger, round rain drops, soaking through her dress and into her hair.

  “Mmm,” he said, cracking an audacious smile. “That was quite a kiss.”

  Sydney’s pleasure was written across her face. “I enjoyed it.”

  His hands squeezed between them and caught her face, pulling her into a deeper kiss and she was lost again.

  Everything about this man could pull her into a tornado of emotion and desire and still deep down it was there. He left you. He left you!

  The fear of those days was pumping through her thoughts as she pulled away from Jake again. He continued kisses down across her shoulder blade that felt so good she could hardly force the words out. “Jake, we have to talk before we go too far.”

  “I.” His lips grazed her throat, light as a feather. “Will.” He nibbled the same area. “Talk.” His tongue ran across the exact same spot and she felt no other part of her body. “To you about anything,” he said in a rush like the exhilaration darting from her neck and filling her heart with relief at his words. He was ready to talk about those years. He was ready!

  “Why don’t we go back up to my place,” he suggested. “We can talk or do this...” He kissed her slow, long and left her longing for more as he took her hand and they started walking back to the Cliff House.

  “Do you think I’m that easy to get into bed?” she asked, finding the same comforting position with her hand wrapped around his arm and her head resting against his side.

  “Ordinarily I would say no, but after Family Day, I think I’m going to stick with no comment.”

  “Jake!” He was right, but she would have never landed in just anyone’s bed. It had been Jake, it had always been Jake, but a fear had kept her from allowing him access to the intimate side of them.

  The rain continued to pelt harder down on them and Jake pulled them to shelter under one of the wooden huts along the beach so only the sound of the rain slapping against the roof touched them.

  “We can wait this out for a bit.” He moved the damp hair away from her shoulders then gathered her in his arms and rubbed her back.

  That gave them the perfect chance to talk. At his house, in the privacy of his walls, who knew how much actual talking they would get done. “I want to talk about when you left.”

  She panicked as his hands stopped and his body stiffened. It had been hard enough for her to brave up the words and now his reaction had her second guessing whether they should discuss it. They had to discuss it. She couldn’t live a life of secrets with him, if he even wanted to live a life with her. She wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but she had a deep, sickening feeling it was about to go the wrong direction.

  “Syd.” A warning. Jake had a way of talking to people that scared them into silence. He was warning her into silence.

  Why was he warning her? She wanted to talk about a dark time in his life and she wanted to share a confusing time in hers...what was the big deal!

  His tone made her angry and she pulled away from him, as much as his arms would allow. “I want to talk about it, Jake. We have to talk about it.”

  “It's in the past. Why would we talk about it?” There was the Jake she knew, the one who didn’t talk. What had all this conversation been about today? Just to steal a kiss from her? Just to land her in the sack? She knew that wasn’t true. Jake wasn’t the man who tried to persuade women into his bed, but still she was hurt.

  “Why are you even bringing this up now? How did that even pop into your little head while we were...”

  “Because we’ve never talked about it.”

  “You picked a fine time to bring it up.”

  “It would never be a good time for you.”

  He let her go and turned away. “Any time would be better than this!”

  Her body missed him instantly and she almost regretted bringing the subject up. But they had to talk about, about him, about her...about everything. But she could feel him pulling physically and emotionally. This was the only topic he wouldn't discuss.

  Sydney reached for his arm but he drew away and turned to her. “I'm not having this conversation.” His cold stone stare would stop anyone dead in their tracks. Not Sydney, not when she swore she could see the tiny crack of light into this doorway of truth. She didn't fear him the way others did and she wanted more from him.

  She folded her arms across her chest. “I'm not doing this...” She waved between them. “...without that conversation. Whatever this is.”

  Through his rigid stare she could see her words had hurt him and thought for a moment that he would finally agree to talk.

  “I'm glad you cleared that up before we went any further.”

  What? What did that mean? It means he's not having the conversation with you.

  “You're going to throw this away Jake? Finally after all these years we finally make a move and you're going to throw it away over a conversation!”

  “You’re making the call here Syd. I’m not throwing away anything. You are,” he accused.

  “Just talk to me. It’s not that hard. You were doing a great job five minutes ago about what happened in your bedroom.”

  “That’s different. There's nothing you need to know about that time in my life.” His voice was beginning to increase in volume.

  “There are things you need to know about that time in my life!” she yelled at him

  His hands sliced through the air in an angry motion. “I don't want to know!”

  She jumped at his harsh tone and with it came a roar of thunder to back him up. There was no getting through to him. There would be no conversation. There was no future for them.

  Her hands fell to her sides in defeat. “I'm glad we cleared that up too.”

  Tell me I’m wrong, Jake. Talk to me, please.

  When his stare was all he offered, she said, “I will see you at Haylee’s party next week.” She walked past him and he caught her arm.

  “Syd?”

  “Those are my terms Jake.” She pulled away from his grip even though it hurt, even though she was breaking inside. What had happened to him while he was gone that turned him cold, that shut him down, that he would throw away her just so he didn’t have to revisit?

  Was it fair to ask him to share a part of his life that clearly he had a hard time dealing with?

  He left you. Why did he leave? Exactly.

  Walking alone along the shoreline in the pouring rain wasn't nearly as wonderful, it was lonely and cold. Knowing he wasn’t behind her, she secretly hoped he would change his mind and come after her, open up to her and start a future.

  There was no other alternative. She needed to know why he left for assurance that he wouldn’t walk away from her again. She needed to trust him completely before she gave him her heart...again...that he wouldn’t break it. She couldn’t handle another heart break from him.

  The edge of the sand stopped at the boardwalk alongside the beach and Sydney found herself standing before The Old Town & Co. Soap Shop.

  The two large display windows were Kate’s favorite place to get in and re-decorate every week. For the long weekend one window was a nautical theme of rope s
wags and buoys hung from the ceiling while advertising their all-natural sunscreen. The other side had brightly cut out stars with a firework background to advertise their all-natural bug repellent. They were beautiful and Sydney let the wholeness she felt since her sisters returned home soothe her breaking heart. Breaking heart? It would be ridiculous to most people that one kiss could break a heart, but with Jake and Sydney there was history and a friendship that she had with no one else. So yes, her heart felt broken and even the comfort of her family couldn’t soothe it better. Not right away anyway.

  She sighed. Not ever.

  If things weren't weird with them before, it certainly was going to be now.

  Chapter Seven

  JAKE STORMED UP the outer stairs attached to the side of the Cliff House, two at a time just like he had on the stairs from the beach. His shaky fingers pushed the code on his lock and he stepped into his third floor loft.

  Shaky fingers? He made a sound of disbelief, squeezed them into annoyed fists and stopped in the doorway like a thief in the night.

  The open loft was dark and empty. He was alone, just like he had been for over the last decade of his life. Dim light shone through the wall of windows on the far end, hitting parts of his rustic decor, the plank wood floors, leather sofa, the live-edge custom dining table. Jake’s focal point was beyond the balcony, over the trees, to the beach where Sydney had decided their future based on the past. Events from over ten years ago!

  Angry, frustrated and totally pissed off with the way things went down between them, he tore the wet clothes from his body and jumped in the shower. His body was stiff as ice. For the first time since she’d walked away, he let his body’s frustration fall with the water. It swirled around his feet before disappearing down the drain. He freed the air he’d been holding in his lungs and waited while the water warmed.

  Normally there were other reasons to jump into a cold stream of water associated with Sydney. For example where they were had been headed with that kiss would have put him in a cold shower if they’d retreated on good terms. Right now that wasn't the case.